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We all need some lighthearted fun, gamblers included, so we've compiled the best gambling jokes -- we promise you'll be crying with laughter! Click to Play!

Top 10 Gambling Jokes and Funny Gambling Quotes assembled by NoLuckNeeded.com. Please share your funny gambling jokes below in the ... Click to Play!

Gambling has always seemed to follow certain patterns and stereotypes. Gambling ages do vary around the world, but it... Click to Play!

Las Vegas discussion forum - Gambling jokes, page 1. Click to Play!


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First of all, if you are gambling and you've gotta get change for a nickel – it's over.. My idea of gambling was walking through Central Park, whistling show tunes.
Top 10 Gambling Jokes and Funny Gambling Quotes assembled by NoLuckNeeded.com. Please share your funny gambling jokes below in the ...
When it comes to betting, we know that anything can happen. People win huge amounts of money by betting on multiple events, and sometimes the sequences ...


Will Ferrell Has a Great Gambling Story


Casino Gambling Jokes Gambling jokes


We've searched high and low for jokes with gambling puns and have come up with a list of the most cringeworthy.Brace yourselves; they're bad.
We all need some lighthearted fun, gamblers included, so we've compiled the best gambling jokes -- we promise you'll be crying with laughter!
I phoned my wife today and said, “Pack a bag dear, I've booked us into a hotel for a few nights.” “Ooh, why's that?” she asked. I said, “Well I've been playing.



The IRS Audits A Gambling Grandpa (JOKE)


gambling jokes
Grand National Joke 1 Got a Grand National Gambling Tip for Aintree Tomorrow “Foundation” 2nd Race. You can put your house on it Grand National […].
Jokes about casinos and gambling. Funny casino cartoons and jokes by our cartoonist.

gambling jokes A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?
Scalabrine shows up accusing you that your lack of bets placed on the black is racially motivated.
What happens when you bet against black?
Scalabrine shows up accusing you that your lack of bets placed on visit web page black is racially motivated.
Quote Originally Posted by TheGoldenGoose: A doctor answers his phone and hears the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line.
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?
As he was putting on his coat, his wife asked, "Is it serious?
Quote Originally Posted by pezeveng: whats the difference between people praying in church and in a casino?
A guy calls his bookie up on Saturday and goes 0 for 4 on college football.
He puts in five NFL plays on Sunday and goes 0 for 5.
He plays three games in the NBA on Monday night and goes 0 for 3.
He calls his local up on Tuesday and asks for the NBA lines and his bookie tells him "There's no NBA, do you want the college basketball lines?
He puts in five NFL plays on Sunday and goes 0 for 5.
He plays three games in the NBA on Monday night and goes 0 for 3.
He calls his local up on Tuesday and asks for the NBA lines and his bookie tells him "There's no NBA, do you want the college basketball lines?
Scalabrine shows up accusing you that your lack of bets placed on the black is racially motivated.
We have a winner!
Scalabrine shows up accusing you that your lack of bets placed on the black is racially motivated.
Quote Originally Posted by nick69: A guy calls his bookie up on Saturday and goes 0 for 4 on college football.
He puts in five NFL plays on Sunday and goes 0 for 5.
He plays three games in the NBA on Monday night and goes 0 for 3.
He calls his local up on Tuesday and asks for the NBA lines and his bookie tells him "There's no NBA, do you want the college basketball lines?
He puts in five NFL plays on Sunday and goes 0 for 5.
He plays three games in the Gambling jokes on Monday night and goes 0 for 3.
I try to be as quiet as possible.
I turn off the headlights, turn off the engine and coast into the driveway.
Then I ease open the front door, take off my shoes and sneak upstairs as quietly as I can.
But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight.
I drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, jump into the house and bang the door.
Then I yell "Honey, I'm home!
I run upstairs, slap her on the behind and say, "How about a little love, woman?
You know, she never even moves!
I try to be as quiet as possible.
I turn off the headlights, turn off the engine and coast into the driveway.
Then I ease open the front door, take off my shoes and sneak upstairs as quietly as I can.
But my wife always wakes up and we end up having a fight.
I drive into the driveway, honk the horn a few times, get out of the car, slam the door, jump into the house and bang the door.
Then I yell "Honey, I'm home!
I run upstairs, slap her on the behind and say, "How about a little love, woman?
You know, she never even moves!
The doctor examines him and tells him he was born with three testicles, the third one just descended and a simple medical procedure would take care of it.
The guy says he's a player and doesn't want a medical procedure, and in fact has been waiting for something like this all his life.
The bartender heard the whole thing and is trying to get the attention of the guy who offered the bet.
The bartender says, "Buddy.
I kept trying to get your attention.
I hope you were born with four of them.
A guy wakes up in pain in the middle of the night and goes to a doctor.
The doctor examines him and tells him he was born with three testicles, the third one just descended and a simple medical procedure would take care of it.
The guy says he's a player and doesn't want a medical link, and in fact has been waiting for something like this all his life.
The bartender heard the whole thing and is trying to get the attention of the guy who offered the bet.
The bartender says, "Buddy.
I kept trying to get your attention.
I hope you were born with four of them.
A priest, a baptist preacher, and a rabbi are playing poker and a nosy neighbor called the cops.
They asked the rabbit if he had been playing poker and he said, "So with who?
They asked the rabbit if he had been playing poker and he said, "So with who?
Quote Originally Posted by pezeveng: whats the difference between people praying in church gambling jokes in a casino?
My buddy goes 1 for 9 on Saturday NCAA football and then 0-7 on Sunday betting on the NFL.
His bookie calls him Sunday night and tells him he's got the lines ready for some NHL games.
His response is "WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW ABOUT HOCKEY??
My buddy goes 1 for 9 on Saturday NCAA football and then 0-7 on Sunday betting on the NFL.
His bookie calls him Sunday night and tells him he's got the lines ready for some NHL games.
His response is "WHAT THE HELL DO I KNOW ABOUT HOCKEY??
Quote Originally Posted by nick69: A guy calls his bookie up on Check this out and goes 0 for 4 on college football.
He puts in five NFL plays on Sunday and goes 0 for 5.
He plays three games in the NBA on Monday night and goes 0 for 3.
He calls his local up gambling jokes Tuesday and asks for the NBA lines and his bookie tells him "There's no NBA, do you want the college basketball lines?
I didn't even see u posted this.
My dad told me something like this a few yrs ago I had to post it.
He puts in think, are there gambling casinos in aruba congratulate NFL plays on Sunday and goes 0 for 5.
He plays three games in the NBA on Monday night and goes 0 for 3.
He calls his local up on Tuesday and asks for the NBA lines and his bookie tells him gambling jokes no NBA, do you want the college basketball lines?
I didn't even see u posted this.
My dad told me something like this a few yrs ago I had to post it.
A guy dreams about hats for weeks, rooms full of hats.
He calls his bookie and wants to bet and parley every horse that day that has a name like a hat.
There are 10 races and after the 8th he calls his bookie and asks how he's doing.
Great he says 8 for 8.
Well, the last race is over and the bookie calls, Damn man, you lost the showing pokerstars cashier not race.
There was no horse with a hat sounding name so I bet on "Bald headed man" and he ran 2nd.
Dammit he says, who won?
Oh some Mexican horse named "Sombrero".
A guy dreams about hats for weeks, gambling jokes full of hats.
He calls his bookie and wants to bet and parley every horse that day that has a name like a hat.
There are 10 races and after the 8th he calls his bookie and asks how he's doing.
Great he says 8 for 8.
Well, the last race is over and the bookie calls, Damn man, you lost the last race.
There was no horse with a hat sounding name so I bet on "Bald headed man" and he ran 2nd.
Dammit he says, who won?
Oh some Mexican horse named "Sombrero".
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Chick Wilfong


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Here are some of the funniest gambling jokes ever - have a break and laugh out loud with these funny jokes. Bad State Lottery Did you hear about the new 3 ...


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Total 10 comments.